September 25, 2017

Stop talking and starting doing!

now blog Why do so many people say things, but never do things?

There’s that famous quote “easier said, then done”, but I feel like too many people use it as an excuse to just get by. Why on earth would you want to JUST GET BY in life?

easier said blog There have been many of times that is exactly what I wanted to do and it is exactly what I did do. If I look back on my life so far, the moments of risk taking are the ones I remember. The only “just get by” moments I remember are ones I want to forget.

I think one of the most amazing moments of risks I have taken was becoming a mom and a single mom at that. I give props to the parents who are doing it on their own. Not just the single parents either, but the parent here on the home front while their spouse is defending our country and freedom. The stay at home parent, that doesn’t get enough appreciation for making the ship sail smooth. Yes, I, a single mom, is giving props to parents who’s partner is bringing in a paycheck but is physically hardly ever there. It takes more than money to run a home and love a child.

Even though at 23, I wasn’t ready to become a mom, I will never regret the decision I made, nor will I ever look at her as a mistake. She is my blessing and my miracle, especially after being told I could never have children at the age of 18. We have taken many risks and challenges in the last almost 17 years together. Without her, I might not have had the guts to take a leap in faith or sometimes a massive jump!

road There are times when the road ahead of you seems daunting, heck you might not even see the road! This is where the rubber hits the road, so to speak! This is when your faith, not in life, but in yourself needs to shine brighter than your fear. It is time to believe in yourself, believe you have what it takes and believe that no matter what the outcome may be (good or bad) you are still ok.

This goes with all areas of your life, not just certain areas. Don’t pick the ones you THINK you can do or handle. Get out of your comfort zone, do things you never thought you could do, trust yourself, believe in yourself and most of all LOVE YOURSELF!

I Was Told NEVER

Never

How many times have you heard it?

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have heard it spoken to me, whether by a loved one, a friend, a doctor or even strangers. I even heard it said  in so many different ways!

You will NEVER walk again.

You will NEVER have children.

You will NEVER play sports again.

You will NEVER amount to anything.

You will NEVER make me happy.

You will NEVER know what true love is.

You will NEVER graduate.

You will NEVER get married.

You will NEVER lose weight.

You will NEVER….BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!!

And the list goes on and on.

So why am I writing this? Why am I blogging about this ONE WORD? Why do I feel so strong about this?

I am writing about the word NEVER because as much as it can be a absolutely HUGE negative in someone’s life, you can also make it a pretty massive positive, it all depends how you react to the individual spewing the negative NEVER.

Let me explain~

Ever since I can remember I have always had someone telling me “never” and for the longest time…I believed that word for my life. I don’t think people truly know the depths of a wound that one word can make in someone’s life. One of the hardest things I had to overcome was my own mind and what I let others do to it. I remember laying in my hospital bed at age 18, after being told on Christmas Day, that  would never walk again or have children. Merry Christmas to me! NOT! And here is the kicker, I BELIEVED HIM! Why? Because I was 18 and he was a Doctor…well I learned very quickly that just because someone has a doctorate, doesn’t mean they get to decided the outcome of the rest of your life. Imagine if I listen to him and all the other doctors that spoke that word into my life.

TractionI look at this way, my doctors might have told me that I would NEVER walk again (at 3 different times in my life), but that didn’t mean that I had to stop using my legs. In all of us we have the spirit to fight, to buck against the system saying this is HOW IT IS. Yes, they are doctors and they specialize in the trauma that was done to my body, not once but three separate occasions, but that doesn’t mean they know EVERYTHING. Why? Because a doctor is only a person who PRACTICES medicine. (I say this strongly because my sister is an ER doctor and she iss one of my BIGGEST supporters and cheerleaders and told me NOT to listen to ANY Dr that says that word)! There are so many deciding factors on all the “what COULD be” for me! How does a doctor, let alone anyone for that matter, know what YOU are capable of. No two people are the same. So you can have 10 people, all with the exact same injuries, in one room and have 10 absolutely different outcomes of their recovery.

Let me put it this way, just because a doctor told me I would never walk again, didn’t mean I wasn’t going to keep trying to stand and take a step. Just like when I was told I would never have children, would that stop me from getting into serious relationship and staying abstinent for the rest of my life because of what a doctor said!  HECK NO!! Imagine if I did…almost 4 years  to the date of my first accident, I became pregnant and I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

Over time I learned to use someone’s NEVER and make it be the driving force to prove that NEVER wrong. Now, I will admit, I might have not walked again, but I would have found a way to walk, it might just have looked different than what people are use too. I might not have gotten pregnant, but that wouldn’t have meant I would have not been a mom. I might have not played sports again, but that wouldn’t have meant that I wouldn’t have found a new sport to fit my life.

I look at life this way…every scar, every battle wound…INSIDE and OUT…make me who I am today…the good, the bad and the ugly…I could have just gave up. Trust me, I get that statement all the time “Sue, if I went through half of what you have, I would have just let myself die”. And they are right, I could have. I could have not fought to regain my life. I could have died on the scenes of my accidents, I could have died in the helicopter or  ambulances, I could have died on the multiple OR tables I have laid upon. But I chose life…as hard as it may be sometimes…I chose ME!!

I am not saying that your life will look like the way society makes you think normal should be…but what I am saying is that you get to decide what your life looks like and you get to FULLY control which way you want your life to go. YOU DECIDE YOUR NORMAL! And I think that is kinda awesome!!

survived cropped

Staying Positive AFTER An Injury or Surgery

You might be thinking to yourself, is she kidding, everyone at some point becomes negative during the recovery process! My response to that is, you are ABSOLUTELY correct! We do, it is part of human nature for us, but at the same time, we also have the capabilities to counter act that choice.

Let me give you a little background to back up what I am about to say to you. I am a 37yr old single mom and I should have died not once, but 4 different times in my life. I have been told by doctors at 3 points in my life that I would NEVER walk again. I was told my life would NEVER be the same. I lived through 3 near fatal car accidents, my last being in the line of duty. The other thing that almost killed me was when I contracted bacterial meningitis. I have more titanium in my body holding me together than anyone should EVER have. I have gone through 20 surgeries to date, mostly on my lumbar spine, pelvic and left hip. So now that you know a little about me, let me tell you why I am a SURVIVOR, not a victim!Never believe words of people who have NEVER gone through what you are going through, and YES this includes the doctors treating you! You truly are your own worst enemy when it comes to your recovery! It is just like when we want to hit a PR (personal record), if we go into negatively, we might as well NEVER even try! But when we go into with a positive mindset, it is truly amazing what our minds are capable of putting our bodies through! Another thing about mindset, don’t be a stubborn or a prideful person when you reenter the box/gym. You do this; you might as well have just stayed home! Let me tell you this now and get it out of the way – YOU WILL NOT BE THE SAME PERSON AS BEFORE, throw out all your old goals and make new ones for the person you are NOW!!  Now, I am not saying that you will never get back to where you were, hell you might even exceed all your past PRs! What I am saying is your body has changed, PERIOD! There is no going back to the way it use to be. It is time to start finding out what works for the body you have NOW! This is probably one of the biggest struggles people deal with when in recovery. The second is the time from which the injury or surgery occurred to when you actually get back into the box/gym!

So let’s talk about that for a second, that down time can either be used to play the pity card or it can be used to start formulating a path in which you want to go. Only YOU can make this decision. Only YOU can decide if want to be the “oh woe is me” person or the SURVIVOR! And I don’t care how many cheerleaders you have in your corner, NONE OF THEM can do this journey for you! Matter of fact, there will come a point that if you hear one more positive word out of someone’s mouth, you literally might go insane!

In closing, let me just make one thing clear! An injury or surgery doesn’t define WHO YOU ARE…you do!  I am not going to sit here and tell you that it’s going to be easy, it actually might be the hardest fight of your life, and like me, you might have to fight it a few times. But what I will tell you is not only will it be worth it, but you will be stronger than you have ever been hitting any PRs!!!

You NEED To Change Your Lifestyle…NOT DIET!!!

There are NO miracle pills, injections, creams or surgeries…there are NO diet centers or diet fads…that will give you the healthy lifestyle you not only want, but deserve!!

Let me explain…I have been there, I have literally tried everything out there (no joke)…it was called being “desperate”.
When I say I have tried EVERYTHING, I am not kidding!! I have done all the silly “fad” diets, all the proclaimed “diet” and “fat burner” pills, to spending thousands of dollars on diet centers, to even starvation. Did they work…yes, but ONLY while I was on them! Why…because the only thing that changed was me following their directions, NOT by me changing my mindset! I knew I NEEDED to lose the weight, but I didn’t want to put in the effort to really do it. It wasn’t until my last attempt did something finally click!

You see, my last attempt was the Lap-Band Surgery, but I made a promise not only to myself but to my sister that I was going to use this as a “tool” NOT a “fix”. And that is exactly what I did. (Yes, I still have the band in, but I no long have restriction in it..meaning I no longer even use it as a too
l). What I had to do was not put my BODY on a diet…it was to FIX my brain and my heart first, my body would eventually follow!6 months prior to surgery, I started doing tons of research, I started asking questions to the right kind of people. I started learning about my body, about the inside. I read everything I could about nutrition. I finally made up my MIND that I was ready to make a LIFESTYLE CHANGE, not go on a diet! I also signed up for my first triathlon since prior to my first accident (at age 18). Instead of spending money on pills or diet centers, I spent it on buying a Tri bike, running sneakers, racing suits, an MP3 player, etc (all which I still have to this day…money well spent!). I started back swimming first and it felt great…I finally felt alive again! I literally was killing myself in the gym, I was working out 6 days a week, twice a day. I wasn’t losing much, but that’s when I realized I hadn’t cleaned up my eating (and even when I did, it wasn’t like I eat now, it was societies healthy eating…ya know the 100 calorie snack packs (GARBAGE)!! )!
There is nothing out there better than what healthy clean eating can do for you, your mind and your body. 80% of what your body looks like comes from the kitchen…the other 20% comes from what you do (physically).It really hasn’t been until these past 2 years…have I really noticed how true this is. Which, of course, has only made me want to know more! Knowledge is power! It’s amazing what certain foods can do for us…from lowering blood pressure, to flushing out toxins and repairing muscles….and it is all done NATURALLY!!!
It really hasn’t been up until this last year after my last 3 major surgeries that I really started honing in on my food choices, how to eat, when to eat, how much of what (protein, carbs, fat ratios), and the actual nutrient value of what I was putting in my body! My mindset changed again towards food…it no longer is food to me…it is FUEL! It’s what keeps me moving, it what stabilizes my health, makes my skin, hair and nails healthier, boost my immune system, aids in my recovery of not just workouts, but from surgeries. I do take supplements and I believe that there are ones out there that ADD to the nutrients you already are eating. No supplement should EVER replace actual food, EVER!!!

This post is not to ridicule anyone for doing anything that is trying to better their health…this is just an inside glimpse at my life and what I battled…and still do…it is an everyday choice I make to be and stay healthy! 🙂

“Scale” Weight

Are you type of person who wakes up every morning and steps on the scale? Then depending on what it says, decides your mood and what you decide to do for the day, in means of eating and exercise. Then you continue through the day rechecking your “scale” weight, only to get discouraged, mad, disappointed or even depressed that it is fluctuating from what it read that morning.

First, let’s talk about what the number on the scale ACTUALLY means. The most important is that if you see a number, it means YOU ARE ALIVE!! But really, your weight is made up of three main components – fat, water, and lean body mass (muscle, organs, and bone).  A regular bathroom scale can’t not give you these three separate numbers; you would need a body composition scale.  I have come across a scale I would buy for myself, not for the measurement of my weight, but for everything else it gives me. It’s called the Iron Girl Body Composition Monitor, and yes boys there is an Iron MAN one too! It measures your: weight, body fat %, body water %, muscle mass, bone mass, daily caloric intake, visceral fat and physique rating.  Can we just say…WOW!! This line of scales are amazing, they have one in the Iron Man line that actually helps you balance out your right side to your left (so say you have an injury to your left leg, it will help guide you into rebuilding it to match your right)!

(CLICK PICTURES TO GO TO AMAZON AND CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE LINE)

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Second, when you see a loss on the scale, do you know what it is you exactly lost? Is it water, is it fat or worse, is it lean muscle? The answer is probably no. But how can you help your mind understand this better…EASY, measure yourself! Take your measurements at your chest (females on top and under), your waist (maybe in 2 different sections), hips, arm, and leg. Another way to gauge composition in our body is by your clothes. You can do this in two ways: one by the clothes you fit into right now and then also by that goal pair of jeans. The one thing you don’t want to lose is your lean muscle mass. Why? Your muscle is what keeps your metabolism on fire. The more you have the higher your metabolism is, means the more calories your body burns. How can you not want more muscle!?

Third, would you rather weight 150lbs with 26% body fat OR weigh 150lbs with 18% body fat? Would you rather, at rest, burn 2000 cals a day or burn 2500 cals a day? I know I would much rather have the latter!

You see everyone who starts a weight loss journey, gets discouraged around week 3. Why? Well, if you every have seen the Biggest Loser, there first week weight loss is extreme, mainly because of water weight loss. Then their 2nd week is still pretty good, but then week 3 hits and it’s like a wall! Their smiles are gone, they are disappointed and confused. They have eaten the same way as the first two weeks and possibly have worked out even harder this week, but the scale barely shows it. If the composition of their bodies were measured too and were posted on the screen, you might see something very impressive, the loss of body fat was great and that their lean body mass went up. THIS IS A VERY POSITIVE THING!

Here is a wonderful friend of mine, Magda, she did a Paleo Challenge at her CrossFit Box for 52 days. During this challenge, she lost only 2lbs, if she never took before and after pictures, she would have never seen the body composition change in herself!

 Check her out at TriWellnessByMagda!

In the end, don’t give up when you see no loss on the scale when you step on, after all it is JUST a number. Ask yourself how do you feel, do your clothes fit different, can you see changes in your body (take progress pictures, it is easy to forget what you look from month to month, when you see yourself daily). Do you have more energy due to your new eating changes? Do you feel stronger when your workout? This is what is MORE important, than ANY number on a scale!

If you truly want a scale for your house…get a FOOD scale to measure your exact intake!!