April 26, 2018

NO EXCUSES…My Definition Of It

oscar no excusesIf you have been around my Facebook Page or even here on my blog, you know that I use the term NO EXCUSES a lot! I have come across some people who have not liked that terminology and have back lashed at it. So I have decided to take those two words and explain my version behind it!

A good friend of mine, Natalie Jill, says this all the time, “Excuses or Solutions, YOU decide” and I COMPLETELY agree with her (it’s probably one of the reason we get along!). When I say NO EXCUSES, there is so much more behind it. You see, I would say this to myself while laying in a hospital bed or at a grueling physical therapy appointment where I was learning to re-walk AGAIN for the third time (fourth if you count learning to walk as a baby). Let me explain even farther.

There is no silver lining or pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, there is no prince charming or fairy-tale ending, there is no winning the lottery or gaining an inheritance…BUT what there is, is YOU…your choices, your decisions and finding YOUR solutions to every problem that arises. This means in ALL aspects of your life, not just in the area of your health. It pertains to your family, career, finances, relationships, school, etc…you LITERALLY can utilize this term in EVERY area of your life!

you No one in this world will make ANYTHING happen for you, it is COMPLETELY and TOTALLY up to you. It is up to you to make your dreams a reality. It is up to you to see that you achieve your goals. It is up to you if you want to see a change in your health, whether it is to lose weight, lower your cholesterol or blood pressure, or to gain muscle. No one will do the work for you and no one will care about it as much as you do. If you want to be happier, feel loved, feel needed or wanted…well it all begins with you…loving you first! If you are waiting for someone else to do this all for you…you are going to be waiting a very long time, basically you will be waiting forever! So I ask you, why would you do this to yourself?

As you are reading this, do you feel stuck? Are you stuck in a bad situation and waiting for someone to “rescue” you? Are you waiting for that “magic” solution to happen? Guess what, I have your answers!!! Stop waiting! You are your OWN hero, you are your OWN magic solution!! I know you are probably thinking, ”easier said than done, Sue”! And why do I know this? Because before I realized this for myself, I thought the EXACT same way!

How did I get past it? How did I make myself my own HERO? Let me tell you…

No ExcusesIf you want to see a change in your life, you need to be the one to do something about it! If you want to see something get done in your life, then you are the one to do it! If you want better for you, it us up to you to make it happen! The choices you have already made are no one else’s fault but your own. You need to be accountable to these and stop blaming everyone else around you. By doing this, you are able to see where you went wrong, find a better way to do it and move on from it. If you play the blame game, you are constantly stuck in a circle going round and round, instead of climbing your mountain!

NO EXCUSES is a mantra for me. I used it lying in a hospital bed after my doctors told me I would NEVER walk again. I could have laid there and played the “woe is me” card, instead I started planning. I started asking myself questions and FINDING answers to them. One of my first was, “how can I make sure I don’t gain weight while being bed ridden?” my answer, DON’T emotionally eat, still stay as close to clean eating as I possibly could. Another question, “how can I keep as much of my lean muscle as I could”? (I would need this once I began physical therapy) My upper body wasn’t damaged. I had dumbbells brought in to the hospital to do arm exercises. My traction bar had a triangle attachment that I used to assist my nurses with moving me or changing my bed linens, I decided to also use it for pull-ups. “How was I going to remain positive in such a negative atmosphere?” I was going to talk, I wasn’t going to hold in my emotions and let them eat away at my soul or brain.My accident

So bottom line is, I don’t care (and neither should you) about the limitations this world has put on you. If you have a medical issue, your life is NOT decided for you due to it. If you have an injury or recovering from surgery, THESE do NOT control what you decide for you! If you are struggling financially and can’t afford things (like clean eating or going to the gym), read my blog about clean eating on a budget (I’m a single mom, I understand, trust me). As for a gym, the BIGGEST gym in the world is absolutely FREE…it’s called the world; the outdoors is absolutely free for you to get things done!

So start questioning your excuses and stop validating them. Instead start VALUING YOU! Because in the end, YOU are the ONLY one that matters!!!

2013…This truly HAS to be MY year!!

2013

You might be asking your self, WHY?

Well, if you don’t truly know me yet, then you don’t know that my lucky number is 13! So with it being year 2013 and then my birthday is on the 13th, oh and might I add it also falls on the greatest of all days (at least for me)…it’s a FRIDAY the 13th at that!! So YES this truly has to be MY YEAR!!

friday the 13

Though 2012 wasn’t so bad, the first half I was still recovering from my total left hip replacement. I finally got the “OK” to get back in the gym in May, but no low body weight training til almost August. I have had tons of set backs due to issues that have come up because of my surgery, that left me bed ridden for a few days here and there.

Let me talk about an issue, that actually has become second nature to me…my weight. I am one of those women who can tell anyone any “stat” of my life…whether it be years as a mom (14), years single (37), my age (37), years at the sheriff’s office (10), years dealing with medical issues (19), number of surgeries (20), number of tats (20), how many bones I have broken (seriously I have lost count), how many true loves have I had (1)…see the list can go on forever!

So back to my weight. At my highest, I was 275 (1/1/2005) and at my lowest I was 138 (9/1/2009).  I finally settled at my ideal weight for me, which is between 150-155. But over the last year my complete mindset on my weight has changed. You see being bed ridden from Feb 17, 2011 until January 30, 2012 (being able to get up an about but no exercise at all) left me at 181lbs. So I started back to really watching what I ate, not counting calories, but nutrient content (protein, carbs, fat grams). You see I decided I didn’t care about the number on the scale, I wanted my body composition to change this time, meaning lowering my body fat and not caring what my weight was. I started at 28.3% body fat, which is deemed overweight for my height of 5’7″. So now this became my goal, gain lean muscle, lose body fat. Well I was on a roll up until Dec 8th (when I kind of fell into a slump which then turned into mild depression).  I dropped weight to 160 and my body fat dropped to 21.7%, I was ecstatic! Now I was to only lose 5 or so more pounds but I want to be at 16-17% body fat. Well 3 weeks of depression and not really caring did me in…gained back weight and it wasn’t healthy weight because I was constantly in starvation mode due to hardly ever eating. So the last few days I have refocused and besides my emotional eating last night (yes I am human), I am gonna set out to ROCK 2013!!

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12 NEGATIVE Thoughts That Are Holding You Back

534091_10151371574735984_1136144810_n-e1355950290748 “If we can’t change our thinking…we can’t change ANYTHING!”

1. There is so much that could go wrong.

Yes there is, but stop being afraid of all that COULD go wrong and start thinking about all that COULD go right! You should always look at what you have now and be thankful for it!!

2. I care what people think of me.

Stop worrying about what others think of you, ignore the rude people who talk about you, why give them that power over you! True strength comes from being wise enough to walk away with your head held high!

3. It will NEVER get better.

Are you serious? Start realizing that it takes baby steps, basically one day at a time. Some days it might be one moment at a time. Start appreciating every great moment that happens and don’t dwell on the speed bumps of life!

4. I can’t trust anyone.

Do you know that most of our true strengths come from the hurts and sufferings we have experienced? We often tend to close our hearts off because it’s not that we don’t trust others, it’s that we don’t trust ourselves enough to believe we can survive another pain.

200131_541886139172168_64377438_n5. My past is distinctive of my future.

Says who…you? So change it, only you can! All mistakes are a part of our growth process; they make our valuable experiences just that much more rewarding! Being defeated is only a temporary condition, it’s giving up that makes it permanent!

6. I will NEVER forgive you.

Guess what, you need to forgive them! Harboring unforgiveness is only hurting you! Look at this way; you should be thanking them for making you strong through the process!

7. I don’t have time to dream.

Want to know what’s worse…having no dream to go after! Remember you don’t have to see the whole staircase; you just have to take the first step! DREAM and DREAM BIG!!!

8. I’ll do what makes me happy…someday.

Forget someday…DO IT NOW! Today is the oldest you have ever been and also the youngest you will ever be, so how can it NOT be the perfect time to pursue your dreams and be happy doing it!

9. I am too unhappy to make anyone else happy.

Did you know that happiness is like a boomerang, just as smiles are too! Usually I find myself happiest when I am doing something that will make someone else happy, no strings attached. Then when you see them smile, it’s hard not to smile back!

10. I can’t. It’s too late. I’m not good enough.

Our attitude is what ultimately determines our journey. Never put condemning words against yourself. There is no can’t, it’s never too late, and exactly what are you not good enough for? Stop putting limitations on yourself!

11. I don’t like them because they’re broken.

Aren’t we all, in some way or another. Remember don’t assume someone is broken because of one moment in their life. Instead be the one who build them up, nurture them with understanding, have a caring heart, and look for the best in them. Leave them feeling a little stronger than before you got there!

12. Everyone else is doing it, so it must be right.

WRONG! Live your OWN life! Don’t hide who you are behind who someone else is. Stand up for what you believe in and never change who you are to FIT into anyone else’s world!

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Yes, I Have Tats…And I Love Them!

When I say “I have tats”, I don’t mean a couple small ones…I mean I HAVE tats, 20 to be exact, one for each surgery. My first one was when I was 27, when I was out of town on a vacation with one of my dear friends. It was definitely a spur of the minute decision, but the one thing I did do was call my dad. Why you might ask…well because I always told him that if I ever was going to get one, I would still ask his permission (yes, even at 27)! His answer was, NO! I got it anyway and it was the first thing that was asked about when I got off the plane. From there, my collection just started growing. Some means things, some I just wanted and some, well I just wanted!  🙂

I got the most of my work done after my last accident. It was a way to have pain transfer for a bit. I know that might sound a little strange, but when you are in chronic pain, getting your mind to feel a “different” kind of pain for a while actually is better than any pain meds could do (at least for me).

I get asked the same question over and over again (as I am sure most people with tats do), “does it hurt?” Well there are many answers to that one simple question! Here’s why. First, is placement, which tat are you asking about? My feet, ones on bone, fleshier ones, side, neck…you have to be specific. Second, my pain tolerance is a lot higher than a normal person’s. What could be a 10 to you would maybe be just a 2 for me (after all I had a complete total hip replacement with NO pain meds).  Third, it depends what you are getting done. Outline only, shading, multiple colors, etc. And lastly, it depends who is doing it! Believe it or not, this plays a huge factor in pain level. Some have the lightest touch, but go deep while others go light yet feel like they are taking your skin with them!

The other question I get repeatedly asked is, “who does your work?” Well again, which one are you asking about? Although most have been done by the same artist, I have 6 different artists work on my body. I love what each one has done because they brought their own uniqueness to the table, but what I also love about them is that they would be the first to say to me, you are better off with _____ to do that piece because that’s his specialty. Yes, they all have what they love to do and specialize in! Any artist who doesn’t offer you someone else to do your piece, especially if seeing their portfolio and all you see is traditional pieces and you want a portrait done is not offering you the best for you!

 Remember, this is permanent…it will forever be a part of who you are! So don’t rush into it, take your time, talk to the artist, get the design perfect (trust me they can get what’s in your head on paper) and even more so…make sure the placement on your body fits what you are doing…it makes all the difference! TRUST ME! (Yes, all tats pictured are mine!)

Why I Do What I Do!

Have you ever been told “NO”, “NEVER”, “IMPOSSIBLE”, “CAN’T” or “WON”T”?

I HAVE!!! Way too many times in my life and almost every person who has spoken those words to me were doctors. I have learned one thing about doctor’s…it’s not they don’t know what they are doing, it’s just that they only practice medicine, they can’t determine the person’s WILL! My doctor’s soon realized I was a force to be reckoned with. That I wouldn’t let them or anyone else put ANY limitations on my life or my body.

The systems/conditions that my accidents have put on me are as follows:

A dull headache everyday, a migraine at least once a week, 20 surgeries total, loss of range of motion throughout my entire lumbar spine, loss of range of motion in my left hip flexor, numbness in sections of my left leg at all times, left leg going numb after 15-20 mins of standing on it (30 mins if sitting), muscle spasm throughout my back and left leg, constant sharp shooting pain down my left leg, constant dull ache in my lower back, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, PTSD, short term memory loss…

What limitations I allow affect me:

NONE!!

I have had every type of doctor imaginable: orthopedic, neurologist, neurosurgeon, Internist, General, Urologist, Psychologist, Plastic Surgeon (reconstructive), ER Trauma Surgeons, Anesthesiologist, Gastroenterologists, Optometrist, Psychiatrist, Rheumatologist, Infectious Disease Specialist, Physiatrist and Radiologist.

Who do I have now:

NOT A ONE!!

If you have read a previous post of mine about all the prescription medications I was on (Click Here, if you haven’t), then you also know that I no longer take any. My body has become completely immune to any and all medications (including pain meds). I had my last surgery (total hip replacement) without any pain meds.

Now why do I do what I do?

Because I KNOW ME better than anyone else. I know when to rest and I know when to keep going. I know the difference between being SORE from a great workout and being IN PAIN from my injuries.

Because I am a SINGLE MOM. 24/7, 365 days a year. If dinner has to be cook, it’s up to me. If laundry has to be done or the house vacuumed, that’s on me too. If want food in the fridge, clothes for my daughter and a roof over our heads, that also on me.

Pain or no pain, I still have responsibilities and priorities. Just because I have suffered through much, gives me no excuse. If I want to make the best out of my life, why would I give the reins to someone who knows NOTHING about my life?

I have taken control back, I do research on my injuries, I find out how to tweak things to fit me…I say this all the time…”This is MY NEW NORMAL”!