May 28, 2020

I hate 12/21/08….

So this isn’t gonna be the greatest of all blogs…basically just gonna get to the point of things!
Needless to say…I am not thrilled with where I am at in my training or with what my body is doing to me right now. I’ve gone so long saying why complain or say I am having a bad day or I’m in pain…because it’s FLIPPIN’ CONSTANT!!!  So what’s the point in saying the same shit over and over…it gets old…and it’s just negative talk…so instead…I grin and bear it. I suffer through each day. I act like NOTHING is wrong. I do ALOT OF FLIPPING PRETENDING! And for who…YOU….everyone that doesn’t matter…so I don’t bother someone…so GOD FORBID I might just LOOK in pain…DAMMIT…I AM IN PAIN!!! IT DOESN’T GO AWAY BEHIND A SMILE!
That day in the headline changed my life AGAIN…not for the first time but for the 4th…THE 4TH!!! Have I overcome odds…damn straight I have…but ON MY OWN…with my own strength, will and courage…without any pain meds (I take enough other meds as it is)!  No one sat by me throughout my hours of physical therapy twice a day…6 days a week….to wipe away the tears of pain that fell….I brushed them away with the sleeve of my shirt. No one drove me back and forth to painful doctor appointments…I did it…knowing I couldn’t take any pain meds to get me thru the ride home! No one came to my house and helped care for my daughter, help me cook dinner, help clean my house or do laundry (except my parents) when I was in so much pain I could barely walk or move, but I HAD NO CHOICE…I had to do it anyway!!
You see, I have had NO CHOICE, but to be a SURVIVOR (not a victim)…but to overcome obstacles. To suck it up and move on! But here is the thing…I am moving on…but I can’t move past 12/21/08!!
So here is where I am…
100 Burpees….did it twice…cuz I wasn’t happy with my time…5:07 is my newest…these are about the only thing I feel strong doing…these and push ups….everything else HURTS LIKE HELL RIGHT NOW and I have no clue why!!

Yesterdays WOD ~
Strength Work~
1×20 OHS @ 55lb  (hit 17 and my hip started to feel on fire and pop)
1×20 Back Squat @ 135lb (I only did  95lb due to what my hip felt during the last 3 reps of OHS)

Then 4 Rounds for Time ~
100m Overhead (35lb) Lunges
400m Backward Running (I walked)
30 Thrusters (45lb ~ bar only)
**Only made it thru 2 rounds at 12:36….my hip was on fire and I already knew I was overdoing it**

Today’s WOD
Strength Work~
1×20 Squat Clean @ 55lbs
1×20 Push Press @ 55lbs (changed out DL due to hip)
1×20 Bench Press @ 75lbs
**Didn’t do the WOD**
~~~My hip and back are completely jacked up and in tremendous pain lately…more so than normal~~~

Besides that…went to CF Games Qualifier

It was amazing the Elite Athletes I saw go after what they punished there bodies for all year long! I watched them set new PR’s and though they were competing against each other…there was still a HUGE sense of community and family among them!! THIS IS WHY I LOVE CROSSFIT!!

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